Some of the wonderfully euphemistic (or just plain stupid) names of PACs giving money to the Fort

Jeffrey Lane Fortenberry (R)*
Every Republican is Crucial PAC $10,000
Future Leaders PAC $10,000
Keep Our Majority PAC $10,000
Promoting Republicans You Can Elect $10,000
Rely on Your Beliefs $10,000
Cmte for the Preservation of Capitalism $5,000
Democracy Believers PAC $5,000
Freedom Project $5,000
Freshmen PAC $5,000
Majority Initiative-Keep Electing Repubs $5,000
People for Enterprise/Trade/Econ Growth $5,000
Superior California Fed Leadership Fund $5,000
Texas Freedom Fund $5,000
Together for Our Majority $5,000

That time...

People are going back to school again, and I'm not. The weather is getting cooler, and I'm happy about that. Yes, it's always a bit sad to see summer go, but I love sweaters and jackets and snuggling up under blankets. Don't think that'll ever change.
Last night, Becca and I were talking about taking walks in the snow, and I told her about one of my most cherished memories. I was probably about 6 or 7 years old, and there was a lot of snow on the ground. I had already gone to bed, but my dad woke me up, bundled me up, and took me to the part of the MoPac trail (then quite new) that was in the East Campus neighboorhood (near our house). My dad and I took a long walk on the bike path with snow falling. I can remember the color of the sky, the street lights on the snow, and the absolute quiet on that bike path. I remember looking at my dad's smile. I remember feeling like he was thinking this was special, too.


Triangle Forest in Wavelength

aug, 2006: article
Triangle Forest
Filed under:

* Bands

WL 327 - Sunday, Aug. 20 – 10pm
Purveyors of: smart synthesized sounds make sexy cyborgs smile

When Roger Williams first began to settle Rhode Island in 1636, he would never have guessed that in 370 years Providence would have formed “sister cities” with Phnom Penh, Florence, Riga and Santo Domingo, let alone his land once decreed as “God’s merciful providence” spawning an evil corporation fornicating and fighting under the band moniker Triangle Forest. Tyrone Warner came up with a list of demands and those corporate bastards did their best to comply.

Please introduce your band, alphabetically if possible.

Alexandra Kleeman, CCO, CKO, utilizes keytars and synths for bass production, likes poetry and brain functions. Benjamin Britton, CFO, CPO, exploits the use of octopad drums, enjoys photographic machinery, whiskey, and pastoral sunshine. Brendan Britton, CEO, CTO, controls plastic guitars, synthesizers, and vocals, likes general relativity and astropornography.

Tell me, what is the coolest thing in the whole world?

Do you mean in the metaphysical sense? Well, in that case, the coolest thing is probably Neptune’s moon Triton, which has an average surface temperature of 38K. But actually, that’s more like the coldest thing: the coolest thing is actually watching an alien gangbang on Triton from the Hubble Space Telescope.

If your band was a flavour, what would it taste like?

Imagine a deranged monster lording over you that places a tiny pill of mescaline on your tongue and waits as your saliva begins to moisten the conductive crystals. He then allows a high-voltage triangle waveform to enter your brain by means of the conductive mescaline. Well, that deranged monster is us and that voltage signal would constitute our music, the mix-down of our collective instruments, and that taste would be the taste of Triangle Forest.

Why did Triangle Forest become a band? Why do you keep making music?

We are a corporation utterly without conscience who will break any international law in order to bring you the most infectious musical diseases. We formed in the summer of 2005 to grow as large and as powerful as possible, to distribute more effective hi-NRG jams to the world, and to reap as much profit as ruthlessly as possible.

Tell me about the instruments Triangle Forest plays.

We are an all digital band that produces consumer-ready, ass-thumpin’ triangle waves using a variety of musical devices. Ben plays a Roland SPD-20 Octopad beat machine. Alex plays an Alesis Micron Synth and a Yamaha SHS-10 Keytar. Brendan plays the Casio DG-20 (a revolutionary plastic guitar) and a Novation Supernova II. Each of these instruments has been fine-tuned to blow an audience member’s brains out through their ass.

Do you think calling your style “80’s music” is fair?

This happens occasionally, and I’m not sure what to say… I’d say we are more like 2000’s music because the music we are making is now and not from any other time. For instance, many bands in the 80’s had homosexual haircuts. You will notice from our glossies that no one in our band makes use of a homosexual haircut… although we reserve the right to in the future, should we get better stylists. Maybe part of the problem is that so far there was only really one decade where bands using synthesizers existed, and that was the 80’s.

Is there any sexual tension in the band? People love to hear about that stuff.

Alex likes to straddle her keytar like a horsey. Ben has ultra sensitive pads and likes to beat off. Brendan enjoys stroking his guitar shaft. Sometimes we take MIDI dumps on each other, and this tends to lubricate the creative process. But mostly we have sex with our secretaries at work, like chief executives in any corporation.

How many times have you seen a normal human brain blown out of someone’s ass?

Usually after one of our sets someone will stumble up to the stage and just repeatedly point to their messy bottom while stammering “d-d-dudes, mindless!” It’s difficult to watch, but hey, that’s the cold-hearted nature of capitalism.

What’s with the evil?

As a corporation, we are inherently evil. That’s the cold-hearted nature of capitalism.

By Tyrone Warner


Democrat saddles up for a red-state ride

Article about Scott Kleeb in the Chicago Tribune. Watch this race, folks. It's the heart of what I believe in.

By Jeff Zeleny, Tribune national political correspondent, recently in Nebraska
Published August 21, 2006

HASTINGS, Neb. -- The man running for Congress begins by making a joke.

"I'm a Democrat and I'm a bull rider," he says on a recent summer afternoon, talking to a few dozen folks who have taken their seats near the shuffleboard table at a tavern off Main Street. "Now which of those two things do you all think is more difficult to be in Nebraska?"

The easy answer, of course, is a Democrat. There are plenty of bull riders--or, in truth, plenty who wish they were--across the central plains and western Sandhills of Nebraska.

Scott Kleeb, a budding politician wearing Wranglers, is both.

While Hastings is known for such things as being the birthplace of Kool-Aid, it seldom draws much notice for its politics. But this year, campaigns are percolating in unlikely places, underscoring a potentially tumultuous road to November.

Across America in August, candidates for Congress have fanned out into their territories, campaigning with little fanfare or attention in the majority of the 435 districts. Only a handful of the most competitive seats ever attract much notice beyond their own boundaries.

Yet here in the largest geographical district in the nation--not counting states with just one representative such as North and South Dakota and Wyoming--Kleeb has become an intriguing curiosity as he logs thousands of miles on his White Chevrolet Silverado extended-cab pickup truck that serves as both office and bedroom when he's on the road.

Kleeb is joining a long list of never-before-politicians taking their first stab at running for offices up and down the ballot.

Earlier this year, Democrats rushed to recruit soldiers who had just returned from Iraq to run for Congress. In Illinois' 6th District, for example, war veteran Tammy Duckworth is vying to fill the seat of Rep. Henry Hyde, a retiring Republican. And, among others, military lawyer Patrick Murphy is challenging Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick (R-Pa.).

Republicans also did their fair share of persuasion, persuading Hall of Fame football star Lynn Swann to run for Pennsylvania governor.

Still, for all these new names on the November ballot, Kleeb stands out.

It's not simply that he was a bull rider on his college team at the University of Colorado.

It's not simply that he received a doctoral degree from Yale. (That is a run-of-the-mill achievement among those who walk the halls of Congress.)

It's not simply that he's 31 or that he grew up in Turkey and Italy, where his parents taught English to children of U.S. military families. (He spent summers in Nebraska, living with his grandparents near Broken Bow.)

No, it is the topic of his dissertation that makes him unique.

Could he be the only congressional candidate on record to write a dissertation exploring the history of Western ranching and the cattle industry, focusing particularly on British and Scottish influences on the business during the 19th Century?

It was that subject that helped spark Kleeb's interest in running for office. He, like so many other nascent politicians, believes he can make a difference.

"I believe government has an important role that it can and should be playing in people's lives," he said. "It can be a powerful, positive force for good."

To conduct his research, he drove through 22 Western states, he said, "including each state west of the Mississippi except Louisiana." He interviewed farmers and ranchers and spent a good deal of his time just listening to conversations in cafes and coffee shops.

Not surprisingly, he concluded that frustrations in the country are high, with an unusually heavy dose of animosity aimed at Washington. He believes the Democratic Party hasn't held up its end of the bargain, either, which is why he moved back to the ranch and decided to run for an open seat in Nebraska's 3rd Congressional District.

Never mind that Western Nebraska hasn't elected a Democrat to Congress since 1958.

But is a Democratic resurgence slowly creeping across Western states?

Wyoming, Montana and Kansas--a trio of so-called red, Republican states--have Democratic governors. And Democrats there have fielded an unusually high number of competitive candidates in Senate and House races this year.

Here in Hastings, Kleeb realizes he is running upstream in a Republican district. When you ask him why he's a Democrat, he begins by pointing to the year 1947, when his grandparents got power on their Nebraska ranch.

Then, he fast-forwards to the future.

"We need to get back to talking about finding ways of expanding wealth for more people," Kleeb said, driving over to the Adams County Fairgrounds. "That's what electricity was all about. That's what all of FDR's reforms were about."

So how can a Democrat run for Congress in one of the reddest states in America? (He is running against Republican Adrian Smith, 36, to fill the seat being vacated by Rep. Tom Osborne, a Republican, who is leaving Congress after losing his bid for governor.)

"We're hitting it as many times as we can that we're a different kind of Democrat. If it's a throwback, that's great," Kleeb said. "But this is a very independent-minded district. They want to look you in the eye, which is why I don't wear sunglasses. They want to size you up and see who you are."

At the same time, he doesn't hesitate reminding folks of just one more thing: The other day, he suited up and went to the rodeo.


Who's Lovin' Your Momma?

Kennedy = Dream Daddy

Tonight: No Coast Roller Derby Girls, then

Huskernaut, Her Flyaway Manner, and Man's Last Great Invention at the Chatterbox (R.I.P. Triangle Forest's van)

Tomorrow, early: Going to Grand Island (neither grand nor an island) for the Democratic Party's State Convention.

Sunday: Making and eating gazpatcho with my momma, then a film premiere in Omaha for a film I did some camera work on but really know nothing about.


'Saved by the Bell' actor, woman tussle in hotel



The man who played the geeky Screech on the 1990s teen TV favorite "Saved by the Bell" alleges that he was bullied in an Omaha hotel room.

Comedian Dustin Diamond, who performed at the west Omaha Funny Bone Comedy Club Thursday through Sunday, said an Omaha woman broke into his room at the Crowne Plaza Hotel early Monday morning.

Diamond told a Tampa, Fla., radio station that the 28-year-old woman stormed his room about 3:40 a.m. looking to steal some valuables. Diamond alleges he had a skirmish with the woman, who was armed with Mace. He said that after she took some video games, he was able to pin her with the room's door, at which point she hollered, "Rape."

Diamond, 29, said he then held onto her pants until police could arrive.

The woman told police that she didn't attack Diamond and that he assaulted her.

"It's a case of he said, she said," said Sgt. Teresa Negron, an Omaha Police Department spokeswoman.

No charges have been filed. No more details could be released, Negron said.

The phone number Omaha police had on record for the woman was disconnected this morning.

During his radio interview, Diamond, who was on "Saved by the Bell" from 1989 to 1994, laughed off the incident.

"You've got to love Omaha," he said.


Today, you should

go to the United States Post Office nearest (or dearest) you, and send a SASE to the folks who distribute Chaise Magazine, an outstanding DVD collection of digital art in all sorts of media. It's worth it for the World Canine Freestyle Organization alone, and for many many many excellent film, video, and digital processing works. Do it.

For the lazy:
Chaise Magazine
119 Ingraham Street #209
Brooklyn, NY 11237

Chaise Two fits in a 6 × 9 inch envelope snugly, a slightly larger envelope padded for damage resistance is ideal. Put at least $1.75 on your SASE. Include a little note, if you wish, or a slip of paper with your email address and how you heard about us. It's that easy.